Doldrums (not because of winter, just doldrums!)

Remus (and me) watching Diana have a lunge lesson!

Weather is gorgeous so I can’t blame that on my mood! It was 78 degrees yesterday and sunny. GLORIOUS. Today is the same. I offered to go haul a new lease horse from Mississippi to the barn on Wednesday just to get away from the computer for a while (I have so much work but getting burned out fast). I am also taking Friday off to go ride my horse because A) it is going to be 70s again B) Sunday is going to be thunderstorms and C) My brother is coming this weekend to visit.

how i feel most days

I had a lesson with Remus last weekend and he was very good. I rode in one of the instructor’s Antares again (this is the saddle I used when I was looking for a saddle) because my instructor doesn’t like my jumping in my Stubben Excalibur. I have more of a chair seat in that saddle which may be okay cross country when it is balls to wall. Not so much with in the ring doing lines. I like that saddle but not sure I want to buy a pricey saddle but I did jump better.

How I move lately

Though my hip (and leg, and back, and down to my right knee) is still KILLING ME. It only hurts lying down at night, sitting in the truck driving without cruise, and oh getting on and off my horse. Riding is not bad once I loosen up but my riding is not great right now. When I get off Remus it takes about 15 steps before I am walking semi-normally again so that is a worry. I am doing all sorts of stretching and nothing is helping. Not sure if it is my it band or my sciatic nerve or what but I am tired of it. I do know that it happened from all the pre-convention weeks of sitting in my chair for 12-14 hours a day. SO I did order a better ergonomic chair to see if it helps at all.

And my husband and I are in the doldrums with life. We have it so good, Mark makes great money I make better money than I ever have and we have no life due to my dad living with us. It is draining us fast. I am hoping to have a conversation with my brother this weekend but we can’t continue like this. Dad has no clue how much of a burden he is on his and he treats my husband like shit.

SO here I sit in a self-pitying muddle. So woe is me. Hope everyone else is doing okay. I do get to go play with my pony tomorrow and that does help (once I actually manage to clamber aboard him).

Hey at least it is almost Friday, right? AND NOT ICY OUT !

these cats have a life!

And now for some reason WordPress has decided to stop letting me put any gifs into my blog. ARGHHH Have a good weekend. I give up!

3 thoughts on “Doldrums (not because of winter, just doldrums!)

  1. I can relate to being a caregiver but not full time like you and Mark! It is absolutely draining and I only go and see them once a week to help out. I really hope you’re able to sort out an alternative with your brother – I’m sure you hear this from plenty of people but you need to remember to take care of yourselves. Enjoy the good weather while it lasts, next week gets chilly for us again 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Having lived with my grandparents briefly while my mom cared for them, I understand the stress you’re feeling. It’s a LOT. And the ones needing the care can’t see it. I hope you and your brother are able to figure something out to ease things up a little. Glad you’re at least getting to enjoy Remus some! Hope you’re all feeling better soon!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ah, man that’s really tough I’m sorry ❤ It is really a lot when caring for someone. As others have said I hope you can work something out with your brother! Being at home with someone who treats another person you care about like shit is really tough to deal with, so I'm sorry that it's been so difficult for you ❤ Hugs! Hope the doldrums feel better soon 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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