Dang life is at a low right now and I while I kind of know why I feel this way (also having trouble sleeping which of course affects my mood), I am not sure what to do about it.
I have had a lesson (last weekend) and have another one (tomorrow Friday), the lesson I had last weekend went really well and I had one of the best rides of my life jumping four jumps in a row with tighter turns than Remus and I ever do! (literally all four jumps were in a row and I had to pop over and do roll backs to each one. AND we did it! YAY), then I went out and rode Remus on Monday just to get another ride on him and it was 83 and hot as f so he was not happy with me (And I left my damn boots home with the spurs, that was so wrong!). So that was not thrilling to say the least, I did get a nice ride in with a fellow boarder so that was fun.
Mark is home with me still which is kind of nice but I have no idea how he will EVER get his work mode back on. He has been making cookies and cleaning the house so am I going to complain? HELL NO. He did a shitload of laundry on Wednesday. Yes, please!
But overall I am kind of in the doldrums. My dad is heading here the day after Thanksgiving so we will be sharing our house with him. Which will affect my work day for sure. Mark’s old company dragged their feet with Cobra so while we are covered we have no documentation yet so I had to reschedule my well-woman visit. AGAIN. Thanks for nothing old company. UGH.
Mark’s new commute is going to be about 30 minutes longer than his old ride so we have some decisions to make. Do we buy him a commuter car or do we consider selling this place and move closer? It is not a fun ride for him (we did it last weekend and the way he took me made we want to throw up). It was a windy road the first part then two interstates the last part. We did find another route a bit better but he is essentially going to be on the road an hour each way in either sketchy neighborhoods or interstates. I know some of you that commute does not seem long but his old commute was less than half an hour so it will be odd for him for sure. Also the role he is taking on is SO much more responsibility with a lot of different sites etc. He may be traveling more once (if) COVID abates. So there is that added stress. Also the driving around here where not as bad as traffic in the NE, driving in Memphis is dangerous as EFF since most people either are out on a Sunday drive (on the interstate, during the week) OR going Mach 5!
The market is hot right now and I know this place would sell. The improvements we have done will definitely help as well as a LOT of people want to live in the country now (while I would give my right arm (okay maybe not) for a decent internet service so tired of unstable internet notices popping up on Zoom calls).
Since Remus is not a candidate for living in my back yard (obviously we have learned that if nothing else), we would have to find a home for the donkeys and we would NOT be buying a farm again, we both agree on that. The wear and tear of keeping this place up might be too much for Mark (and me as well) and also with Dad here I am just not sure. We need a dedicated office space for both Mark and me (with doors) and so on. Not saying it will happen but it is something we have to think about.
So this post is just a whine of sorts. Feel free to pass it on by. My blogging has gotten sporadic and I don’t like that either! I did start volunteering doing newsletters for a schnauzer rescue and I love doing that so that has helped me feel a bit better but for now just going to go sit in a corner and stare at the walls (some of this is also the aspect of WINTER COMING I am sure, it was 80 last week and this morning it was 38 degrees).
So how is everyone else doing? Anyone else feeling the doldrums (or feeling them coming on)?? How do you get past it? I can’t feel too badly as Mark has a job he starts on the 30th for more money than his old job. So we are so lucky, I feel a bit of a piss ant for complaining! But I am nothing if not honest! Sorry.
Fat Buckskin in a Little Suit 
If you are complaining, you’ve come to the right place (to my reading eyes, not your blog) because I am a PRO-fessional at that. This year has been heavy and hard. I see you on playing the caretaker role and how much taking care of land / house can take out of that. Since Bryan has been looking for land FOREVER, we’ll trade you. JK! What I’ve found to help knock me out of the blues is 1) doing something just for me and trying not to feel guilty about it and 2) making sure all is well with my sleep / diet / exercise. If those don’t work, I have a killer crockpot mac & cheese recipe I can share with you. Many hugs to you!
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HAHA see you already made me feel better. I forgot you are going through so much more than me! My dad is healthy (relatively) but my sister is a pain in my ass and just wants him out of the house. But yeah I wish you were closer. Your dog would LOVE this land 🙂 I would not say no to the mac and cheese recipe 🙂 THanks
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You’re not a piss-ant for complaining at all it sounds like you have a lot on.
Off the top and purely from reading this post I’m tempted to think selling up and moving right now could be even more stressful and add to problems but can’t be put right as easily. Commuting sucks and I do sympathise but if the new job is likely to involve travel and being on the road it’ll still be the case whether you move or stay put. Only thing is being in a new home and all that on top of the stress of new job and travelling is gonna go towards the sense that nothing is solid or safe and secure (if that makes sense?)
If the market is right and your property likely to sell at the minute it’ll be good to stay that way for a bit so I would be tempted to just hang fire for now, see how things pan out with the new job and get into some kind of routine before upsetting it any more.
I’ve been feeling royally sorry for myself and very much “woe is me” lately more because I am desperate to move and find somewhere that includes a small amount of land where we can keep horses and dogs and not need to use livery and pay a fortune etc. My own space is all I want.
As it turned out the farm and livery down the road from us where I previously kept mine have been having problems in terms of cash flow and considering extending and offering more livery. The drawings and plans we had for our old place which was basically a field without any power or running water have been handy in giving them ideas about how they can extend the amount of livery by at least four or five using just mobile stables (timber build and great quality) and reduce running costs by a massive amount.
Different in the UK but here you are allowed to put up mobile stables or shelters without needing any planning permission or prep and ground work and they’re such good quality, really economic and can be built to spec. Sounds obvious but being mobile means you can literally move them from one place to another, add to them with more stables or storage and to suit.
My husband Mark is a mechanical design engineer and had plans to get power up and running almost entirely from solar panels / renewable energy systems. He even made a nifty little DIY bit of piping that ran from the IBC tanks / recycled rainwater to drain off and into a small hole drilled through the back of the old stable block and into auto drinkers made from old stainless steel mixing bowls.
Farmer / YO already let me use their land anyway for training, exercise, practise and general dicking about with the dogs but were so chuffed with the ideas and advice / help offered they have offered to let me have full free livery on long-term contract for two horses which is a light at the end I guess.
I’m hanging fire and not gonna jump at the kind offer just yet but actually quite enjoying finding other ways to help them make full use of every inch of land, make the costs minimal and it’s giving me ideas about what I would do if and when we found the ideal home that comes with land we can then start to build up from scratch.
I’d work on the assumption you’re gonna be staying put for now and work out / weigh up things you want to change and would like to do that helps the four legged friends of all shapes and sizes, doesn’t cost the Earth and will help keep you all happy, give you more of a homely and relaxed feel whilst you are there and might even add to the value of your property if and when you do decide to sell up.
Know it’s crap at the minute and feels like you’re wading through glue endlessly but you’ll be where you want to be in no time 🙂
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thank you for this well thought out reply!! I appreciate it!!
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I’m sorry your down in the dumps! Change is hard and having to make life changing decisions (even if for good things!) is very stressful. So you have every right to feel your feelings! I think it helps to talk (or write) about it. So you should tell us all about it if you want to!
I’m glad to hear Mark found a new job. Boo to it being far away though. Ugh. I know things will work out in the end (they always do), but in the mean time, hang in there!
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Thanks Stacie. We are so fortunate I know so hate to whine. But what is a blog for but to whine? 🙂 HA! I do go see my fuzzy buckskin today so here is hoping that helps me feel a bit better! Hope all is okay up there and not too cold yet 🙂
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I think a good part of it is all the stress and change and uncertainty (my husband is home now too but he’s undecided if he’s getting a new job or just retiring early. I am like DECIDE now please so we can PLAN THINGS).
I hope all the transitions go smoothly and things settle down a little for you ❤
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Oi I feel for Mark and that new longer commute. I went from 6 minutes to 40 minutes for a series of years and it was The Worst. It it much in the grand scheme of commutes? No. But was it a lot for my lifestyle? Yeee-up. Moving during a pandemic would be a bear, but hopefully easier to find a place that isn’t a farm! Regardless of what y’all decide, I hope things go smoothly…and settle down soon!
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